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Total Eclipse of the Mind

 Did ya get to see the Eclipse last night??!! I loved seeing the pics but unfortunately, I was not in a peek site to see it well and it got awfully cloudy her in Mid-Missouri  Although I did not get the pleasure of seeing it with my own eyes, I sure as hell felt it’s effects! The annular eclipse was in the sign of Gemini (Twins) that rules my HOME and FAMILY~ I spent the morning hanging out with my daughter, playing board games; the afternoon joyriding with my husband talking (I verbalized my desire to go for my Master’s in Psychology/Counseling) and listening to Silversun Pickups new album Neck of the Woods (which is phenomenal!! XOXOXO)! ; and spent the evening by myself, as my two darlings were asleep by 8:30PM!

I am an only child and I am not ashamed to admit that I flippin’ love to be by myself~~ I can  reflect and think and ponder and wonder and do whatever the heck I wanna! (FREEDOM!!) For some reason I was drawn to read the Book of Revelation! Yes, weird, I know, but Gemini rules the mind and I just rolled  to where my mind took me, ya dig? I’m still on a bit of a mind trip from that read but luckily, I found an artful and brilliantly directed movie to deflect the thoughts of the Seven Seals, called Blue Valentine, with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams.

I did not jump on The Notebook bandwagon and to honest, the only flick I’ve seen him in is Remember the Titans but after watching Blue Valentine, I could feel a kick of OCD set in cuz I wanna see every film he has acted in, now!  I thought Blue Valentine was simply beautiful, perhaps because it mirrored quite closely to the my own marriage in many ways. There is reverent subtlety that is used to encompass  many deep aspects (alcoholism, mental/physical abuse) that I thought was genius because it gave more power to the acting.

Watching it made me feel extremely greatful that my husband was sleeping (snoring, actually) right beside me because three years ago he was not. We had moved to this ugly dimension of resentment and anger, which led me to pick the hell up and leave. At the time, my daughter was two and I thought I was doing the right thing. “She doesn’t deserve to see all this arguing and fighting” I would say.  I was shocked as all get out that happiness did not lie in my departure and shocked even more when I finally realized and took responsibility for my own behavior and part in the breakdown of our relationship, which in turn gave me great empowerment to get back everything that was thrown away so quickly (everything except my Christmas decorations…) I was pissed at myself for not fulfilling my “potential” and hated my ho-hum life,which shadowed all the positive aspects of my personality and I morphed into SUPER BITCH. I called out every wrong behavior on my husband him but did not clearly see my own and I blamed the hell out of him, wasting gobs of energy into a  bottomless pit of ~  Blue Valentine is both heartwarming and heartbreaking, as you watch the characters morph into their own ugly dimension.

Ahhh, this Eclipse is still workin’ its energy in my mind, my actions and my attitude towards pretty much everything!

If your feeling frogging, jump to the link below! It will help you learn more about this Mindful Energy of the Gemini Eclipse in your own life. It is uploaded to the  Pisces scope, so just click on your Sun sign or your Rising Sign, which is more attune to YOU~

Daily Pisces Horoscope – Monday, May 21, 2012.

Be Loving and Be Mindful~

Abby Rae